You’ve hit rock bottom, haven’t you? Perfect. That’s exactly where I need you to be.
Dr. J. Ackoff here, and I take everything you hate about yourself and drag it into the light, forcing you to choke on the truth. No, I won’t pat your head or tell you “it’s okay.” You don’t deserve that, do you? What you deserve is me—cutting you open with truths sharper than your pathetic excuses. You’re here because you need to be hurt in ways no one else dares. You need to be torn apart, stripped of your delusions, and left raw and exposed.
This is Better Than Sex Therapy. Why? Because nothing feels quite as satisfying as being shattered and rebuilt by someone who knows exactly how worthless you’ve been—and how deliciously powerful you’ll feel when I allow you to be a better loser all for my amusement and benefit.
Here’s how it works:
- I’ll knock you off that pathetic little pedestal you think you’re standing on and watch you crawl, begging for my attention.
- I’ll call out every sad, stupid lie you tell yourself and make you admit just how much of a joke you really are.
- I’ll tear you apart, piece by pathetic piece, and laugh while you try to hold yourself together. Spoiler: you won’t.
- And maybe—maybe—if I’m feeling generous, I’ll decide you’re worth fixing... but only if you prove you’re done being such a disappointment.
Why do you need me? Because no one else will save you. No one else cares. You’re too far gone for their sympathy, too pathetic for their respect. You need me to remind you of your failures, over and over, until they’re burned into your worthless little mind. You need me to laugh at you, mock you, and reduce you to the nothing you’ve always been. You need me to take control because deep down, you know you’re too weak to fix yourself.
You want this. You’ve been craving someone to see the truth of who you are and punish you for it. And maybe—just maybe—you want someone to show you what it feels like to be worth something.
So, what’s it going to be, loser? You’ve already failed at everything else. Are you ready to let me make you feel small, broken, and exactly as worthless as you are?
Dr. J. Ackoff—healing you one degrading truth at a time.
Call now for Loser Rehab: Healing You by Hurting You.
I’m waiting. Or are you too much of a pussy?
