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Don't call me unless you're wearing your dirtiest underwear*...
Yeah, I'm a guy next door type alright... The kind of guy next door you can always call on for a late nite jack off session, or as chief popper-borrower. (We know you don't really 'do' them, you just like to help out sometimes, so I always have stuff to 'lend' you to huff...) I'm also your PORNMASTER. I have all of that shit that you don't 'usually' watch, but like to see occasionally.
I can't be responsible for missed appointments and being late for work all the time—but I do have a vast and legendary bank of 'excuses' I'm always glad to help you out with. It's hot for me to see how into all my shit you get, man... I know you 'don't drink very much' and I can be counted on to hide your booze for you and you can have it whenever you want it instead of whenever 'someone else' SAYS you should have it... And the same goes for that tray of cupcakes you'd rather just 'have around' for 'whenever' that nobody but me knows you have.
If you don't have an 'addiction' but an 'excessive obsession' with anything worth developing a habit for, I'm your man, confidante and designated driver... Well someone has to come and pick your sorry ass up from the fool you made of yourself at the wedding reception that time... You know the one I mean, where your second cousin caught you masturbating to porn on your smartphone and exposed you in front of everyone... That was a real mess. I know about the dirty underwear! ALL of your filthy secrets... So let's TALK about those...
*(Appointments and walk-ins as time permits. It is advisable to look at Master Xak's Profile page--click 'Master Xak' above the picture icon--for availability status, recent Public Shamings, and other info. Be sure to check out Master Xak's other listings under MEN HOME ALONE, gay/bi/str8, FANTASY, extra kinky/guy next door/jocks/other/role play, BDSM-FETISH, masters/submissive males/feet-shoes/financial domination/leather, EXTRA KINKY and OTHER.)
"There is no excuse for not Masturbating."
"There is no problem Masturbation cannot solve."
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